Playful Teacher Gifts

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

"I'm still pre-literate."

'Home Schooling'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Education and Apprenticeships

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

Junior Doctor.

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Benjamin Franklin

'Think Basics.'

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

Playing Doctors.

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Keep students on their toes...

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'