Humor-loving Teacher Gifts

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Empty Headed Schoolboy

K-9 Garten

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"

'Look, mom. We got them instead of stars on our papers.'

"Today we're going to learn to deal with rejection."

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

'That's sure a funny lookin' sandwich bag!'

"I only talk down to your child because he's shorter than me."

Hall monitor lizard: 'Hey! No running!'

'I ate some modeling clay in school today. It's okay, they're not going to make me pay for it...'

"On a pencil, this is called an eraser, not the delete button."

Sign at infants school - Beware of the Puppy

"It's only the first day, so I haven't had a chance to learn all your names yet!"

'I can tell we're approaching winter recess. My briefcase is overflowing with travel brochures.'

"Explain to me again why the global market is to blame for this grade."

'Sorry about the wreaths and flowers. It's the spot where the previous teacher was finally over-powered by primary seven.'