Humor Admiring Teacher Gifts

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

"I didn't bring an apple, so how about a fruit roll up?"

"Today we're going to learn to deal with rejection."

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

"I only talk down to your child because he's shorter than me."

'That's sure a funny lookin' sandwich bag!'

Sign at infants school - Beware of the Puppy

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"

'I ate some modeling clay in school today. It's okay, they're not going to make me pay for it...'

'OK, you try it' (Learner bank robbers).

"On a pencil, this is called an eraser, not the delete button."

'Well, which approach shall we try this year?'

"It's only the first day, so I haven't had a chance to learn all your names yet!"

"Explain to me again why the global market is to blame for this grade."

'I can tell we're approaching winter recess. My briefcase is overflowing with travel brochures.'

"Your son carved his initials in his wooden classroom desk and argued he was doing desktop publishing."

'Sorry about the wreaths and flowers. It's the spot where the previous teacher was finally over-powered by primary seven.'