Educator's Humor Gifts

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

"Explain to me again why the global market is to blame for this grade."

A Puppet Named Juan

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'People, get a half-life!'

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

String Theory for Beginners.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

K-9 Garten

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."