Educator's Humor Pillows

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

"Explain to me again why the global market is to blame for this grade."

A Puppet Named Juan

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

Math Teacher

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

String Theory for Beginners.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'We don't know what this is called'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

Party Schools...

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'