Humorist Educator Pillows

K-9 Garten

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Math Teacher

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'People, get a half-life!'

Geography class - UR Here.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

Party Schools...

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'