Educational Humorist Pillows

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'What does rebuttal mean?'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'Let's say you caught 5 fish, and I caught 3...what would we have? 'A fish fry?'

Student to psychology teacher: 'Are we going to learn all the states? Like the state of contentment, state of being, and state of confusion? ...'

'As you know, we've put Billy in the slow class....'

'We don't know what this is called'

Lady to man: 'I can't find the Geography Workshop.'

'People, get a half-life!'

Praise better than scolding: 'Having set the school on fire, well done for calling the fire brigade.'

'How is his liberal arts degree going to help him in today's world?'

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

'If two negatives make a positive, how come two wrongs don't make a right?'

Second grade would prove to be much tougher than grade one.

Richard gets the third degree.

"Kevin Turner says the pilgrims came to America to open up two billion acres to real estate development. Is that wrong?"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Could you keep little Edward home from school today, Mrs. Rogers? It's part of our teacher morale project."

"Have you ever tried baring your teeth at them?"

Ajax Medical School - Room 411: Old wives tales.

"I dictated my essay to my parrot. Unfortunately, my cat then ate my homework."

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

"Don't worry, Mr. Swenson. I'm tough, but fair."

"Most of you won't know what this is. It's a blackboard."

'That's Karl with a 'K' -- My parents named me after a radio station.'

Fillmore Junior High installs a mental detector.

'Wow second grades sure had changed since we were kids. She flunked insider trading, pyramid schemes and Swiss bank accounts.'

'I don't know why other people pray in school, but I pray in school because I'm not supposed to.'

'Well, if you already know the answer, why are you asking me?'

"Gawd I love common core!"

Math Teacher

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Of course, I could be wrong."

"You will like Mr. Woofard. He has an attention-deficit disorder."