Educational Comedian Pillows

"Test has such a negative connotation. I prefer to call them character building opportunities."

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of:

'Take this back to the committee. Since this is a school I would like the mission statement to mention education.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'It wasn't the Principal - I was expelled by the STUDENT COUNCIL!'

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'