Educational Humor Pillows

'How can I possibly be a discipline problem? I'm usually asleep.'

What I Know. . .

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

There goes professor Elactic!

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"We're not so different, you and I."

A Puppet Named Juan

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

String Theory for Beginners.

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."