Humorist Educator Gifts

K-9 Garten

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'People, get a half-life!'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

Geography class - UR Here.

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of: