Educational Humorists Gifts

'Our new teacher's very ignorant. . .She's always asking questions.'

Graduated Cylinders...

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'People, get a half-life!'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Geography class - UR Here.

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

Party Schools...

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'