Gifted Education Humorist Gifts

Gifted Milk

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

Math Teacher

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'People, get a half-life!'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"