Early Education Humorist Gifts

Alphabet.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

Math Teacher

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

Geography class - UR Here.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Party Schools...

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

K-9 Garten

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."