Teacher Humor Fan Gifts

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Empty Headed Schoolboy

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'How do you like school?'

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'