Teacher Joke Fans Gifts

'OK, you try it' (Learner bank robbers).

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

'How do you like school?'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'I'm glad to hear that my son is the class clown.'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

First day at school

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

'Hey! Our mum's are here to pick us up.'