Punny Professor Gifts

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Home Schooling'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

Subatomic particles

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

Benjamin Franklin

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

When scientists come out of retirement.

'Think Basics.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

The institute.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Keep students on their toes...

'I'm sorry, Professor Johnson is not picking up. I can put you through to the equally eccentric Professor Williams if you would like?'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

Discipline at Doggy School