Quirky Academic Enthusiasts Gifts

'Centre for the study of obscure and useless things.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Scarcity

Scientists are sexy

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

Subatomic particles

Max Weber

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

Chaos Theory Conference.

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

Books on running a successful school,

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

'That's it?'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Emile Durkheim

'I'm sorry, Professor Johnson is not picking up. I can put you through to the equally eccentric Professor Williams if you would like?'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

The institute.

'What did you put down for the definition of plagiarism?'

"I'm honored to share my research at your virtual academic conference."