Academic Enthusiasts Gifts

Teaching students going through puberty.

Institute for Continuous Research (all-niters our specialty)

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Burning the midnight oil.

Scarcity

U of Debt

Scientists are sexy

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Six Thinking Hats

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Max Weber

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'