Academic Admirers Gifts

Scientists are sexy

Scarcity

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Thomas Keneally

Max Weber

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'That's it?'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Emile Durkheim

Wilhelm Dilthey

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Cambridge Dons disagree about the meaning of life.

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"They all failed?! What on earth was the question?" "How do you fund a university?"

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."