Academic Admirers Pillows

Scientists are sexy

Scarcity

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Thomas Keneally

Max Weber

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'That's it?'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Emile Durkheim

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

Cambridge Dons disagree about the meaning of life.

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Wilhelm Dilthey

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

"They all failed?! What on earth was the question?" "How do you fund a university?"

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."