Higher Education Admirers Gifts

Harvard Waiting List

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

Scientists are sexy

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

All Hail the Matriarchy

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Football team discussions.

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

Student Debt

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

End of Affirmative Action

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

We learn by doing

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."