Higher Education Aficionado Gifts

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Scarcity

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

Max Weber

End of Affirmative Action

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

University Book Store.

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

High School

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'Today in school, we learned how to count to one.'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'