University Aficionado Gifts

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Charles W Eliot

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

Teacher and students.

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

University Book Store.

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

'Actually I can't even figure out the origin of this organization.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

Med School Mascots.

High School

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'Your anatomy teacher says you're a pain in the gluteus.'

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

Spelling Bee at Ridgefield Country Day School.