School Aficionado Gifts

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"School is loverly this time of year."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

University Book Store.

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

"Pavlov's Blog."

'Boy, am I in trubbal.'

High School

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.