Academics Admirer Gifts

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

Scarcity

Scientists are sexy

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Max Weber

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

We learn by doing

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"And now, we embark on a new chapter..."

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'That's it?'

Emile Durkheim

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

Why The Other DInosaurs Couldn't Stand The Thesaurus

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"