Higher Education Supporters Gifts

Broke parents of a college graduate.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Football team discussions.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Student Debt

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

End of Affirmative Action

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.