Education Supporters Gifts

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Another shot heard round the world.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gold versus Knowledge

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Good writing is good thinking

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'