Education Advocates Gifts

"Why am I being trained on obsolete equipment?"

"Before we have our Maths lesson, a word from our sponsor"

"I feel like you're limiting me to correct answers."

Long queue for teacher recrutiment.'They're all bankers'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

Common Core Family Therapy

'Teacher layoffs adverted.'

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

Someone should stop the school from taking the webcam photos of the students. The kid's parents are suing the school. Excellent. Which means our taxes will be wasted on lawyers. Someone else should stop them! My sentiments exactly.

Check out the tuitions on these college brochures. Let's see. $50,000 a year, plus fees?! If college professors are so bleepin' brilliant � You'd think they'd have fixed such a glaring typo! It is fixed. Against us!

Baby Exam Mobile

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

To End Virtual Instruction, End Virtual Funding

''Increase education funding'? -- You want the people to get SMART?'

It's very important to learn how to write in script - how else will we sign for credit card purchases?

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

School Maths Test - 42 42 42 'The Government does seem a bit obsessed.'

"Will you at least let him finish the term?"

"Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations..."

"The budget is tight, so here is your marker supply for this quarter."

"I guess they were all at the school board meeting protesting sex ed and critical race theory."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Staff Yearbook

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'