Education Activist Gifts

'I'm home early. Due to budget cuts, the school district is laying off students.'

School Choice Leaves Equality Behind

Banned Books

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"And that's when she found out her master's degree only qualified her for an entry level position."

St.Titanics primary, "It's a sink school."

'Our school cuts are getting serious.'

'I totally agree with teachers taking industrial action.'

"You want Congress to take a standardized test ti see if we have mastery of anything?"

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

"I thought we were hosting a group of parents who wanted to complain about critical race theory and sex education. . ."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Good writing is good thinking

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"