Education Advocates Pillows

"Why am I being trained on obsolete equipment?"

"Before we have our Maths lesson, a word from our sponsor"

"I feel like you're limiting me to correct answers."

Long queue for teacher recrutiment.'They're all bankers'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'Teacher layoffs adverted.'

Baby Exam Mobile

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

''Increase education funding'? -- You want the people to get SMART?'

It's very important to learn how to write in script - how else will we sign for credit card purchases?

'Boy or girl, straight or gay - I don't care as long as it's science-literate and non-republican.'

School Maths Test - 42 42 42 'The Government does seem a bit obsessed.'

"Will you at least let him finish the term?"

"Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations, keep moving, please. Congratulations..."

"The budget is tight, so here is your marker supply for this quarter."

"I guess they were all at the school board meeting protesting sex ed and critical race theory."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge