Education Supporter Gifts

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Class, can anyone name a Hispanic hero who used non-violent methods to win better working conditions for farmers nationwide?"

"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country>"

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'Don't worry about next year, Kathy...All teachers agree on the multiplication tables.'

'I'm starting an educational fund for orphan girls, so they won't have to depend on magic and glass slippers to succeed.'

'Must be one of those language schools.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Staff Yearbook

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

Another shot heard round the world.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.