Higher Education Supporters T-Shirts

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

Broke parents of a college graduate.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Continuing education.

Interdisciplinary studies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

All Hail the Matriarchy

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Football team discussions.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

End of Affirmative Action

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

Student Debt

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?