Quirky Scholars Gifts

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

The Map of the human brain

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

Dreams I have had...

Large print e-book.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Am I sensing fear?"

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'