Academic Eccentric Gifts

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'But I digress...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

Subatomic particles

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

When scientists come out of retirement.

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

Graduate of 2021

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

The institute.

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

"What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to be certain about everything these days."

Library Scientists.

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Drunk artist paints pink elephant.

Various sporting officials think to themselves: '4 years at West Point for this'...'5 years at MIT for this'...'6 years at Julliard for this.'

Mrs. Ginder like to subtly call attention to those students who performed poorly on her tests.

11-18-11: The Day Everything Changed

'Best way I know to decide who gets the research position.'

Benjamin Britten.

Lemming Univ.

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."