Educational Eccentric Gifts

'But I digress...'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Newt sale

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Blend Schools

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

Benjamin Franklin

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

Keep students on their toes...

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

A Macaroni in 1773

How Platypuses Are Born

Please wait to be yelled at.

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

Teacher's Lounge

Brian McMahon's hobby? Being hit by as many pro golfers as possible.

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

"I think we can take him off the shortlist."

Drunk artist paints pink elephant.

Back to School Jitters

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

11-18-11: The Day Everything Changed

Benjamin Britten.

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

"My weasel of an opponent is running a negative campaign, but unlike that dirtbag, I'm taking the high road."