Education Eccentric Gifts

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'But I digress...'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Newt sale

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

I drive, therefore I am.

Blend Schools

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

Benjamin Franklin

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

Keep students on their toes...

A Macaroni in 1773

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Please wait to be yelled at.

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

"I think we can take him off the shortlist."

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

Drunk artist paints pink elephant.

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

Actually, College Tuition Does Pay

11-18-11: The Day Everything Changed

Benjamin Britten.

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'

"My weasel of an opponent is running a negative campaign, but unlike that dirtbag, I'm taking the high road."