Education Eccentric Pillows

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Newt sale

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

I drive, therefore I am.

Blend Schools

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

Benjamin Franklin

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

A Macaroni in 1773

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

Drunk artist paints pink elephant.

"I think we can take him off the shortlist."

Benjamin Britten.

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

"My weasel of an opponent is running a negative campaign, but unlike that dirtbag, I'm taking the high road."

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'