Academic Antics Gifts

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

Subatomic particles

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"Along with 'Antimatter,' and 'Dark Matter,' we've recently discovered the existence of 'Doesn't Matter,' which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Birth of the Perpetual Fundraising Industry.

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

Professor Clown teaches advanced physics

The institute.

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

'Ann, you're the best graduate student I have, so I'm going to blame some faulty research on you.'

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

'I'm sorry, Professor Johnson is not picking up. I can put you through to the equally eccentric Professor Williams if you would like?'

"So the year '2020' can also be written. . ."

The Perpetual Motion (just a figure of speech) Institute.

'What did you put down for the definition of plagiarism?'

"I'm honored to share my research at your virtual academic conference."

"...get in there and make my post docs fall in love with their research."

'My teacher doesn't give numerical or letter grades. She gives emoticons.'

When geographers and geometrists hang out.

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"If you upgrade this to an 'A' I think I can get you an extra $10,000."