Silly Student Gifts

University cone dispenser

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'People, get a half-life!'

"Giant Sequoias'- with apologies to the Encyclopedia Britannica."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

Essay Paper.

"Whoa! Are they doing what I think they're doing?"

"Up the hill to fetch a pail of water" -- Are you sure that's how hydrodynamics works?

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

High School. I was suspended for throwing a Robert Frost book. They didn't see that it was performance - poetry in motion.

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Remedial test taking 101: I ain't got no pencil!.

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

''C-minus'? †Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

STRIP Hambone: Wind up computer