The Joking Student Gifts

Remedial test taking 101: I ain't got no pencil!.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'Hard or soft science?'

"Giant Sequoias'- with apologies to the Encyclopedia Britannica."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

Essay Paper.

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'What's our exit strategy?'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

Undergraduate and don

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."