The Joking Student Pillows

Remedial test taking 101: I ain't got no pencil!.

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Hard or soft science?'

"Giant Sequoias'- with apologies to the Encyclopedia Britannica."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

Essay Paper.

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

'What's our exit strategy?'

Undergraduate and don

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"Up the hill to fetch a pail of water" -- Are you sure that's how hydrodynamics works?

How about you? Have you picked a major?

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"