Silly Student Pillows

University cone dispenser

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'People, get a half-life!'

"Giant Sequoias'- with apologies to the Encyclopedia Britannica."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Essay Paper.

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"Whoa! Are they doing what I think they're doing?"

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Remedial test taking 101: I ain't got no pencil!.

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

STRIP Hambone: Wind up computer

''C-minus'? †Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"My father tried to help me tell time, Mrs. Davis, but I couldn't tell which of my hands was bigger to show the hour!"