Quirky Personality Gifts

Conclusions Drawn: Still lives at home with Mom and Dad.

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Real Estate Personals

Security Questions

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."

Bald man with a brush on his head

Women and child, "We picked a name out of the air for this one didn't we Jumbo?"

'Pasta barstard' "Don't call me curly! I did warn you!!" "umm..bitter and twisted!"

"Of course I won. I was already a winner. I didn't even have to run the race."

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Best before 65 million BC.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

Ostrich Curoisities

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Giraffe Selfie

Penguin Remote

Victorian Gentleman

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."