Quirky Personality Gifts

Conclusions Drawn: Still lives at home with Mom and Dad.

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Real Estate Personals

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."

Bald man with a brush on his head

Women and child, "We picked a name out of the air for this one didn't we Jumbo?"

'Pasta barstard' "Don't call me curly! I did warn you!!" "umm..bitter and twisted!"

"Of course I won. I was already a winner. I didn't even have to run the race."

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Best before 65 million BC.

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

Victorian Gentleman

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

Penguin Remote

Giraffe Selfie

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Sometimes I'm sorry I ever ran away with you."

"I beg to differ."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.