Quirky Folks Gifts

"We've got a vacancy for a church mouse, if you're interested?"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Best before 65 million BC.

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Real Estate Personals

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Prison Romance.

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Don't tell him anything."

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

"Sometimes I'm sorry I ever ran away with you."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

Bald man with a brush on his head

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'