Quirky Families Gifts

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Where's your nose?"

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

Prison Romance.

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"Don't tell him anything."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

Cupid

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'