Quirky Families Pillows

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Inappropriate Snowmen

Advanced footsie

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Where's your nose?"

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

Prison Romance.

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Don't tell him anything."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Cupid

You and your alternative pregnancy.