Quirky Family Antics Pillows

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'It wasn't premeditated.

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Children of the Cornhole

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

At home with the Cone family.

The First In-Law of Thermodynamics.

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

The Bowling Family

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

'Your trainers really whiff.' - 'Yeah, they're awful, aren't they?!' - 'Do something about !!!' - 'Oh, I see...'

"It's time you knew the truth, Ron. Your father was a horse's a**."

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'

'And after the parents Egg and Spoon will come the divorced couples sack race.'

'If you're planning to move back in here with your mother and me, you'll have to abide by our rules.'

'You didn't spank me today. What did I do good?'

'My dad used the exact same word yesterday. Does he have to come here too?'

"Dad, what does two and two make?"

'My little sister can't come to school today - She's teaching my Dad how to operate his computer!'