Quirky Family Antics Pillows

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'It wasn't premeditated.

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

Bubbies and technology

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Children of the Cornhole

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

Thanks to Floss-A-Cuffs, parents can be certain that their kids will maintain proper oral hygiene.

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

The Bowling Family

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

The First In-Law of Thermodynamics.

At home with the Cone family.

"My dad and I are trading important life skills. He's teaching me how to change the oil in the car."

'And after the parents Egg and Spoon will come the divorced couples sack race.'

'If you're planning to move back in here with your mother and me, you'll have to abide by our rules.'

"It's time you knew the truth, Ron. Your father was a horse's a**."

'Your trainers really whiff.' - 'Yeah, they're awful, aren't they?!' - 'Do something about !!!' - 'Oh, I see...'

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'

'You didn't spank me today. What did I do good?'

'My little sister can't come to school today - She's teaching my Dad how to operate his computer!'

"Dad, what does two and two make?"

'My dad used the exact same word yesterday. Does he have to come here too?'