Quirky Family Moments Pillows

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

'It's okay if you don't hug me, dad.'

"Uh, thanks for fixing 'ants on a log', Grandma, but I think you're s'pose to put raisins in the peanut butter, not real ants!"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Two boys from legal to see you."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Meerkats - A Family Portrait

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

"How did my mom know I went to get ice cream after school? She's either placed a tracking device on me, or she's tracking my phone."

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

"Sorry mate, I can't sneak out at night: My mum would definitely catch me..."

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

At home with the Cone family.

The First In-Law of Thermodynamics.

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"It's time you knew the truth, Ron. Your father was a horse's a**."

'Do you know how hard Daddy had to work to get all those dinosaur brains?'

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'