Quirky Sister Gifts

'I think there's been some mistake...'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Inappropriate Snowmen

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Advanced footsie

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

Giraffe Selfie

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

Penguin Remote

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Salvador Dali's cats.

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"Don't tell him anything."

Prison Romance.

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."