Sister With A Quirky Style Gifts

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

'Projectile painting.'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

The Wolfman's Brother

Sick Exhibitionist

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."

"Sara, we think you have a Dostoyevsky problem."

Ice Fishing with Cats

Nerd Day Was Always The Least Popular Part Of Fashion Week.

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

"Still prickly, but smart. Styling gel makes the difference."

"Why can't I give you a haircut?"

"Yeah...he's my brother. I inherited the cool genes!"

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

Pooper Scooper